Friday, August 21, 2009

11 1/2 week update

OK, so I've been MIA for a week. In the honor of full disclosure and honesty (since my last post was honest as well), I will fess up and admit I've been struggling the past few weeks. My mom and Daniel sat me down last weekend and finally got me to admit that I really haven't been feeling myself lately. In all honesty, I haven't been functioning at all. I've been completely shut down and didn't even recognize the changes in myself. They both got me into the OB immediately this past Monday morning and my OB agreed with Daniel and my mother (and if I'm being truthful - me too) that I'm suffering depression. The doctor said it's like post-partum depression, but during the pregnancy so you might call it "prepartum" but really, just google "depression during pregnancy" and you get the idea. I don't really want to go into WHY I'm feeling so's really an internal thing - not stress from the outside and I'm still really sensitive about my feelings on the topic - but my doctor has encouraged me to be extremely honest about what I'm going through so I'm doing the best I can right now.

I was put on a very low dose of medication and am supposed to up that dose tonight (and again in four more days) and see what that does for me. I'm also planning to attend a support free therapy. Daniel and I think it would help me to see other women in my position. I have to basically be forced on the medicine right now - I know it will help but the effects the first week or so are just terrible...Daniel's been such a help in that department.I have to be honest - without my husband the past few weeks...I'm not sure where I'd be. He's been amazingly helpful and going out of his way to be extra funny just to get me to crack a smile (which I guess I hadn't done in a few weeks!!). So - that's my honest update for this week.

On to what you all are really here for: the baby update. We heard the heartbeat this week and it was around 150 beats per minute, which some would say means we are having a girl...but those sorts of tests aren't true. I mean think about it - you have a 50% chance of guessing correctly. Anyway, besides the heartbeat, we also learned that my stats are very good. My blood pressure was surprisingly low....the top number was 20 pts lower than four weeks ago. My blood work was good. My weight....well I've lost about 8 pounds in the past four weeks. My depression hasn't helped me very much with the eating fact I'm currently still struggling with any desire to eat (and do a lot), but I know that will change. The doctor was not worried at all and said the baby is definitely getting what it needs.

Oh..mark your 8 October...we will learn the sex of the get ready for that!


Katie said...

Oh honey. It's ok to feel the way you're feeling, and I'm glad you're taking steps to feel better. We all struggle with different things at pretty random times in our lives. I'm so glad that Dan is there to help you too...

Keep the faith. You're an amazing person & this will come out okay in the end. (Believe me when I say I know what I'm talking about. ;))

JamesnMeagan said...

Hopefully you will start to perk up soon. I know for me just hitting the 2nd trimester helped a ton. Good luck with your ultrasound, they are so awesome. You're right about the heart beat. Ours was around 150 too and we're having a boy. I love ya and will keep you in my prayers!