Wednesday, April 27, 2011


I read a blog called Young House Love, where the family has basically redone two homes and are great decorators. I love their style, although I'm not sure it's my style. I want it to be my style - if that makes sense. I still enjoy the blog.

The family has a young daughter almost one year old and today on her blog she shared the extremely traumatic birth story. Only some bits of the story was familiar to me, in particular the part where she describes her husband being left behind in the hallway as her hospital bed, with her in it, was being run down the hallway to the unknown....

"John later admitted that thought had hit him a lot earlier than it had hit me. He said he knew something was very wrong...And when he was standing alone in the hallway after I got wheeled off to the OR he wondered if things were about to end badly. See why that visual of him in the hall makes me cry? It was just so surreal and terrifying."

Daniel and I rarely speak of the moments before Abigail's birth because they are too emotional and almost led to something much more serious....and I still have this same image of Daniel standing in the hallway, completely lost and scared. He has told me multiple times that he "was scared I was going to lose you both." I am starting to cry just typing that phrase. The emotions are still very raw.

I've never had that sort of intense fear....and Daniel does NOT discuss the issue with me as he says that over 13 months later, it's still too fresh. I am not sure when the day will come that we CAN discuss what happened at length, although I do know the event changed our perspective on everything (of course, so did Abigail's birth) and has prompted multiple changes in our lives since. 

It's amazing that those scary moments led to this precious gift:

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